To Anacreon in Heav'n

I was discussing with a friend the other day the fact that The Star-Spangled Banner, the national anthem of the United States, sucks. It's hard to sing, it's long, and the melody repeats itself within one verse, so frequently you find people at baseball games starting over with the words in the middle. It's not even about the United States, but rather about its flag.

Specifically the words were written about this flag (warning: government web server! Slow!), which is now, ironically enough, falling apart. For the past two years, it's been in a Smithsonian Institution preservation workshop, to keep it from falling completely apart and forcing us to examine ourselves a bit more closely than we'd like. A large part of the money being spent on this task comes from -- I am not kidding -- Ralph Lauren. The Smithsonian's web site also says that "generous support is provided by", among other entities, the "United States Congress".

1. Of course generous support is provided by Congress. The whole museum wouldn't exist otherwise.

2. Congress doesn't 'generously support' anything themselves except, indirectly via caterers, D.C. liquor wholesalers; I think that the National Museum of American History is actually thanking Congress for my generous support.

3. Ralph Lauren? Good God.

Anyway. I seem to have got off the track of my story, which is that I was talking with a friend about how The Star-Spangled Banner is not a lousy song. It seems to me that America would be a far better choice for a national anthem, though it might cause confusion at the Olympics when both the U.S. and the U.K win medals in the same event (America and God Save The Queen are the same tune with different words).

Anyway, of course we got on to the topic that The Star-Spangled Banner is actually a reworked drinking song. I recently found the words to that drinking song, To Anacreon in Heav'n, and I present them here, interspersed with the words of The Star-Spangled Banner. Both songs have a number of verses that are not included here. I would doubt that much more than one American in a thousand even knows that there is more than one verse to The Star-Spangled Banner, much less what they are, so I don't feel bad about leaving them out.

If your screen is narrow enough that the lines wrap -- there should be 16 lines in each song -- you won't be able to follow along properly. If you;d like to sing along, I've conveniently provided a cheesy MIDI file for you here. It runs through the music a number of times, many more than I have provided words for.

18th-century drinking song

National anthem of the most powerful nation on Earth

To Anacreon in Heav'n, Where he sat in full glee, A few Sons of Harmony Sent a petition That he their Inspirer And Patron would be; When this answer arrived From the Jolly Old Grecian: "Voice, Fiddle, and Flute, No longer be mute, I'll lend you my name And inspire you to boot, And besides I'll instruct you, Like me, to intwine The Myrtle of Venus With Bacchus's Vine."

Oh, say, can you see, By the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hail'd at The twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, Thro' the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watch'd, Were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, The bombs bursting in air, Gave proof thro' the night That our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled Banner yet wave O'er the land of the free And the home of the brave?

And here, just for kicks, I'll juxtapose God Save The Queen and America.

God Save The Queen	America
God save our gracious Queen, Long live our noble Queen, God save the Queen! Send her victorious, Happy and glorious, Long to reign over us; God save the Queen! O Lord our God arise, Scatter her enemies And make them fall; Confound their politics, Frustrate their knavish tricks, On Thee our hopes we fix, Oh, save us all!	My country,' tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing; Land where my fathers died, Land of the pilgrims' pride, From every mountainside Let freedom ring! My native country, thee, Land of the noble free, Thy name I love; I love thy rocks and rills, Thy woods and templed hills; My heart with rapture thrills, Like that above.

I must say that the second verse of God Save The Queen is possibly the best national anthem anywhere. Nobody in America ever singe the second verse to America; I included it here only so as to include 'Confound their politics;/Frustrate their knavish tricks'. (Though I have to admit that there are some truly spectacular nuggets buried in La Marseillaise.)

As a further aside, it should be pointed out that the British didn't originate that tune, either. It seems to have been known in France before Britain. In France, you sing it this way:

Grand Dieu sauvez le roi
Grand Dieu vengez le roi
Vive le roi.
Qu'à jamais glorieux
Louis victorieux
Voie ses ennemis toujours soumis
Vive le roi.

The Germans also claim it:
Heil dir im Siegerkranz,
Herrscher des Vaterlands!
Heil, Kaiser, dir!
Fühl in des Thrones Glanz
Die hohe Wonne ganz,
Liebling des Volks zu sein!
Heil Kaiser, dir!

We could probably eliminate the need for the United Nations if everyone used the same national anthem. The band at the Olympics would only have to know one tune, too. Everyone could just sing different words. Maybe even this bilingual one that I just whipped up on my own:

Trees, beavers, and The Bay,
Canada is okay,
We're all canucks!
It's a culture its own!
Oui, c'est ça! Non, vraiment!
Bow to a foreign throne:
God save the Queen!

That tune is amazingly versatile.