The best predicate for stupid people, I’ve found, is stupid parents. Now, there are always exceptions, but in general, stupid people tend to have stupid parents. That’s how you get stupid; you grow up in a house with the TV always on, and where you’re never taught to have any curiosity about anything.

Anyway. Fortunately, stupid parents are doing us all a favor by giving their kids — who will likely grow up to be stupid adults — idiotic names.

Out of the 165,000 “.name” web addresses that have been registered so far, several hundred are registered to people with names like Gouda, Almond, Cappuccino, Veal, Corn and Cheddar.

There are exceptions to this, of course. Condoleezza Rice is not stupid (nor were her parents) despite having a silly name, for example. But then Condoleezza is just a very odd and unusual name, not a made-up or repurposed-from-the-grocery-store one.

When these kids start sending resumes around with names like “Cheddar Wilson” and “Cappuccino Goldberg” (though what’s the chances any of these kids are Jewish?), they’ll probably be thrown in the trash more often than not. Names like that are less a marker of individuality (which is what I believe the parents intend) as they are an indication of an idiotic upbringing.

I hope these kids are at least getting normal middle names.