Not long ago I went to lunch at one of these chain noodle places that dot the suburban landscape. You know the kind: your choice of N pastas under your choice of sauces, with unlimited salad and rolls. It’s not a gourmet feast, but it’s cheap and you don’t have to fetch the food yourself from a counter.

As soon as the waitress came to our table, she asked the question that I hear more and more as I eat at chain restaurants: “Have you been here before?”

Siiigh. I have, but what’s it to you? I mean, what if I’d never eaten there before? I come in and tell you what I want to eat after consulting the menu. After a while, you bring the food. I eat it, pay, and leave. I don’t understand why I need any particular training in the matter. I’ve been eating since before I could walk, you know.

Restaurants whose procedures are so complicated as to require specific previous experience on the part of the customer should really take a look at their operations and see whether they can’t be standardized somewhat.