Motorists traveling on Interstates 10, 20, 59, 65, and 85 are advised to use caution when approaching Alabama, as the state has been reported missing.

Alabama is in the ‘United States of America’, as helpfully shown on the map pictured above.

Department of Homeland Security officials said on condition on anonymity that it is thought that the state had been abducted by Aruban nationalists who wanted more real estate and who resented the competition for beach tourists represented by Gulf Shores and the rest of the ‘Redneck Riviera’.

In unrelated news: Malibu plagued by jazz ninjas. Film at 11.